Week 11. Did you say ‘phone call based business’?

My story about overcoming the fear of  calling.

In September, I left a well paid banking job to start as freelance headhunter.fear 3

I had no experience in recruitment but had a great mentor and business partner. He believed in me as I believed in him. He would coach me until I gain full autonomy.

The very first day, he said “always remember that you are now in a phone call based business. The day you forget your phone at home, it will be considered as a day off and you are not paid on day off. Is it clear?”.

Very clear, it is indeed, I mumbled.

Two months later. I had not done a single deal. And none was in sight. Panic was starting to rise in my stomach. Bills were waiting. But they could not wait for very long.

I spoke to my mentor and shared that two months had past and that I was starting to worry that this business might not be for me. (My old blueprint was feeling insecure and had started to whisper that I should think of going back to the bank and beg to be reintroduced to my position).

My mentor looked at me and quietly said “do you remember this is a phone call based business?”

I frowned and replied “Well, yes. We are calling all day long”.

He smiled and said “I am glad you said ‘we’. Because I wonder how many calls you do per day.fear How many yesterday?” I checked my working spreadsheet. I froze. I had done only two. He saw I was embarrassed.

He smiled and said  “This is what we’re going to do. Sit here, count how many calls  I do per hour and listen to what I say. Ready?”

I took a pen, sat comfortably in a chair and waited. Not for long. He did 7 calls in 15 minutes. After 20, he sent me for a break.

When I returned he insisted “This is a phone call based business. It is not a job for shy people, neither for lazy people, nor for those who are not prepared to do the work. You choose. I can cover your bills for this month but you’ll be indebted to me. Or you just do the work. As I know, you are neither shy nor lazy.”

I sat and did the work as if it was my first day. Within 2 weeks I closed 3 deals.

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Every day, my mentor says to me “you’re not far from full autonomy. It will not take long before you drive a car like mine and send your kids to private school.”  (So does repeat the gal in the glass every evening)

My needs are recognition for creative expression and autonomy 🙂

Week 10. What do I see?

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This is how I feel today. Today is Friday. Looking back on the week 10 and what do I see?

I see that I love my job. Clients are happy with my service. My business partner is thrilled with my work. Yet another deal is closing.

I feel lucky to be alive right now. I am whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious and happy. So long as there is breath in me, that long will I persist 🙂

Week 9 You’re simply the best

That’s what I say to the gal in the glas: “You’re simply the best, better than all the rest. Better than anyone. Anyone I ever met.”  Indeed, from all the gals I met in the past, in front of this same glass, staring at me, the one I see now is the best. Because this gal is whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious and happy 🙂

 

Week 7. Am I close to the top?

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Am I close to the top or Am I simply two feet from the ground? This is week 7 and I cannot really tell.

Each week uncovers a part of me that needs a closer look.

This week, I realized that negativity, self-pity and self-indulgence were hidden in remote corners of my being. Like chocolates bars, ready to be eaten, that give a quick relief but do not help.

Am I close to the top or Am I simply two feet from the ground? This is week 7 and I cannot really tell.

However, all my ropes are fastened. I have started the climb and I want to know how life looks like from the top.

Week 6 Keep on reading about love

I love the scroll 2. The combination of reading it out loud and the sit in, is just amazing. I get to feel all the love that is already there, in my heart.  Although I get to feel it, I am still struggling in letting it flow out as a continuous flow. There are moments in the day I know there is no love flowing out of me. Hmmmm! I need practice there 🙂  I’m getting better every day in my new profession. I love what I do. So I have no doubt that at the game of love, I’ll get better too. Let’s keep on reading about love 🙂

Sans titre

Week 5 It is a small change but….

Up until last week, I was the type of person who hates the night. I would sleep late, numb my brain with evening work or with TV series until I drop dead. In the morning, I would wake up all tight with a light feeling of stress. I would move on with another day working hard, no time to stop and think. Between my work and my kids, there was no much space for anything else consistent.

The night never did it for me. I love sleeping during the day, under the daylight. During week-ends that’s my small treat.

Since I started the MKMMA, most of the evenings, I need one hour and a half to complete the reading, the sitting and visualization. Often, two hours are not enough when there is writing and blogging to do. So, I had to stop the evening work and the TV. Hey! I want to keep my scholarship 🙂

What changed? One morning of last week, I woke up and realised that the morning feeling was not the same as usual. It didn’t hit me until early this week, when I got aware that indeed that old feeling was not there. What old feeling? I don’t know the name but I know when it is there for waking up with it for so many years. I mix of light fear, anguish and stress. In the past, I tried yoga, relaxation, essential oil and all kind of stuff to overcome it but it didn’t do. I gave up long ago and settled to live with it.
What happened? The combination of the readings with enthusiasm and the ‘let it go’ sitting exercise. That’s what did it. I think. And the consistency of the reading. Every morning of this week I checked my feeling waking up (through the observer’s eye like Mark says). For sure. It’s gone. I confirm. It’s gone. Guess what! now, I read with even more enthusiasm 🙂

It is a small change but maybe for me, it could be the change I needed.

Peace be the journey within 🙂